Abounding Coupledom
Some general comments with regards to Must See TV:
1) Snorted with laughter at Monica's hair. Actually, am still chuckling.
2) Loved Rachel's dress and am now obsessed with finding sassy halter dress for self.
3) Rachel's tan should be an inspiration to us all. Tan flesh is always better than non-tan flesh. Note to self: re-self-tan asap.
4) Abounding coupledom/love. Phoebe/Mike. Rachel/Joey. Even Ross may have met his match.

Anyhoo, the whole coupledom/love-ness has really got me thinking. What if they all end up coupled at the end of next year? Do you understand the effect that will have on my psyche? That would mean that for 10 years of watching them date, get married, have babies - I've just dated. And dated. And been sent to Dumpsville. And not dated. And dated again. It's been going on so long, I feel dated. I have a gazillion weddings to attend, and every girl I know is having a shower thrown in her name. I'm spending all my money on dresses to wear to said weddings in an effort to wow Jeb and gifts to give in an effort to keep up with the perfect gift-givers of the world. It's like I'm the serial guest - watching everyone be the guest of honor. And now I'm thinking that it's all just passing me by. When will it be my turn?

Which brings me to another subject, do I really want to marry Jeb? Or do I just want to be married? Ummm… Right.

Reasons I Want to marry Jeb:
1) So I can buy a wedding dress.
2) So I can have a wedding and, for one night, never be the nerd that doesn't have anyone to talk to. (The bride is never without someone to talk to.)
3) So I can buy a whole new wardrobe for trousseau. (You must start new life with new wardrobe. Single/I'm gonna get you sucka prowling clothes are no longer appropriate.)
4) So I could finally live out my Sunday morning, terry robe, coffee, newspaper fantasy.
5) Because I'd get two kisses a day - minimum - for eternity. In the morning before leaving home and the requisite June Cleaver peck-a-roo preceded by "Honey, I'm home." Ah… bliss.
6) Because staying home on a Friday night would finally be cool.
7) Because I could get all new towels.
8) Because I could get all new stationery.
9) Because I'd need to buy loads of new party dresses with matching shoes. (B-to-B's are always amongst the best dressed.)
10) Because I'd lose tons of weight. All brides-to-be are waify. It's a gift from God. He gives us a skinny day for our nuptials. He has such a sense of kindness.

Reasons I don't want to marry Jeb:
1) His last name. I will be she she me Lee. People will read my name and think I'm a Samurai warrior or a Chinese soup. Season upon season, my name will be unchic.
Pause…. Am thinking…Yep, I think that sums up the no's.

OK. I think that's enough. Definitely want to marry Jeb.

Well, now that that's settled, what do I do? I refuse to broach the subject with him. (I'm anti-pressure when it comes to proposals. Who wants to marry a man who doesn't want to marry her?) I can't talk about it to my friends, or they'll start to feel sorry for me for wanting it so bad. (It's important to act like you don't care when it happens. I think it makes your bridal shower more impactful.) My mom is already anxious enough for both of us. (She has a fat wedding notebook ready to go. Really, she has the whole thing mapped out.) So talking to her would only aggravate the situation.

No, I can't talk to anyone about it. This must me be an inward journey. Right. Will make subtle yet poignant strides toward being marriage material. Will dress more maturely. Will act more wifely and will become an alluring feminine creature that any man would want to make his own. Starting with fresh nails. Must have fingers ready to receive ring at all times.

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